Six Billion Secrets

None of my family or friends understand why I confined in her.

If they only knew how she was the one who saved my life so many times.

I am grateful that I now know that I made the right choice to stay in this world.

No thanks to them.

I tell my friends that it’s because I’ve tried every diet out there, but none of them help.

The real reason? I have a disease.

Unfortunately, I’ll never be able to tell them because I know they’d never believe that I have an authentic reason.

I had to make up some lie about how I had just eaten a little while before and wasn’t that hungry.

If only they knew I am really on the verge of being anorexic.

There isn’t a day that we go without an argument where we put each other down.

I really hope you do this because you don’t want to lose me.

Because despite what we’ve been through, I know you’ll always be my first true love.

I can’t tell what’s more annoying: the fact that she thinks I need it,

the fact that everyone in my family is already ridiculing me for it,

or the fact that she doesn’t care enough to actually follow through with it.

In my dark room all alone, tears streaming down my face

I’ve never felt so alone.

I always have a fake smile to cover up my depression.

Not many people know about how I had thoughts about committing suicide.

People wonder why I’m so quiet; it’s because if I started talking, I would burst out into tears.

You thought I was kidding and laughed.

It’s become so much of a habit, that they’re getting bigger. And deeper.

Someone, anyone. Help me.

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.

I’m sorry you only loved me for my body.

I’m not sorry for leaving you.

I’m just scared you’ll kill yourself.

Every day, it gets mentioned to me.

It’s gotten to the point that I feel grateful that people still hang out with me despite my awkwardness and my looks.

How else can I feel loved?

One of my friends confronted him. He told him that he was a terrible person for saying such things, and that he was a waste of space.

That bully killed himself last night. Sometimes, it’s the people who hurt others that hurt the most.