July 2011
null My parents divorced when I was four.
I’m almost 16 now.
I always act like it doesn’t bother me.
The truth is, more than anything, I want a Daddy.
But my father is not a good enough man to do the job.
Yesterday, my mother called me, saying goodbye. She was going to kill herself.
If it hadn’t been for my brother’s quick thinking, she would most likely be dead right now.
I’m ashamed that all I could say to her was “I love you.”
Mom, I’m sorry.
I couldn’t help you on my own.
I’m petrified of needles. To the point I will faint. Tomorrow? I will march into that clinic and give blood.
I’ve never been so excited to save someone’s life.
I know where the key is to the gun case. I learned how to tie a knot in girl scouts.
I’ve cut in the past. If I just cut a little deeper.
They trust me alone in the bathroom with pills.
But I’m not suicidal.
It may be crazy but just knowing that I have a way out, makes me feel less trapped.
You stole his phone, and sent me terrible messages off it. I thought it was him that made me want to kill myself.
Him that made me cut. Him that I hated.
Turns out it was you.
You were my best friend, but not anymore.
I was raped from age 8-13. The man that raped me never wore protection.
I was too young to get my period.
Secretly I wish I did have my period so I got Pregnant.
So there was proof, he had done, what he had done.
Then he would be in jail.
And not free, walking the streets.
Everybody thinks I have the best boyfriend ever because he treats me like a princess. If only they knew every time he comes over he rapes and abuses me.
I have to make up stories why I always have black eyes to my parents.
I can’t leave him because I love him so much.
I just can’t break up with him.
Everytime I stare down into that toilet I swear to myself it will be the last time. But day after day, meal after meal I find myself going back to that same place of regret.
I shove my fingers down my throat to rid the calories, but really, I’m just ridding myself of any dignity I have left.
My brother sexually abused me. My dad verbally abuses me. My mom hits me.
Recently my brotther told me that everyone in my family wants to kill me.
I believe him. So why not do the job for them?
No one is stoping me. I have no where to turn
I want help, but no one cares enough to actually help me
I’m done.
There is blood under my fingernails. Smeared on my leg, dabbed on my wrist, dripping from my chin, dotted on my pillowcase, blotting a tissue.
I’m not a cutter, not a vampire, not a killer.
I have dermatillomania—compulsive skin picking.
And I do this to myself every day.
My secret? The cancer is back. I just don’t have the strength to fight it. I have fought all my life and I can’t do it again.
When I told you that, you said, you were not going to waste your time coming to see me in the hospital then.
Thanks Dad.
You text me until I fall asleep. You make sure I feel safe when we watch scary movies.
You hold my hand at concerts.
You’re over protective and don’t let me date just anyone.
But I want to date YOU. Too bad we’re nothing but friends, and always will be.
My dad left. The day that I was born. Moved back to ireland. Had another kid.
Doesnt he realize how much it hurts to see pictures of him holding his kid.
But I have no pictures of him holding me.
I am in love with an amazing girl. She is everything I have ever wanted.
There’s one problem.
She is my best friend’s girlfriend.
I plan on joining the Navy once I graduate high school. My family doesn’t think I’m actually going to, and my friends don’t either.
The second I get my diploma, I’m enlisting.
I’m going finally be proud of myself.
One of my friends lost her virginity at 14. She has mental health issues and is constantly with her boyfriend.
Me and her have seperated and I have said, nasty things about her
She just told me she has cancer.
I’ve made a promise never to say mean things about someone till I actually know them.
Some girls were making fun of my skirt at school, because it’s different. You hugged me, sparked rumours we were a couple.
I didn’t deny them straight away, because you make me feel special.
No other boy has done that.
Thank You, Shank.
My Secret? I’m clinically depressed. I’m bi-polar. I cut. I’m anorexic. I was sexually harassed.
I have post traumatic stress disorder. I’m suicidal.
And nobody cares.
You were in the car with me and my mom today. You casually called me smart in conversation.
You heard what my mam said.
Don’t call her that! She’s barely average.
Now. Now you see.
So my secret? Plain and simple. I have depression. But I also have horrible acne.
I got new medication for acne, the actual cure to it all.
But this medicine increases my depression.
So it’s either beauty or sanity.
Guess which one I picked.
I am 14 years old and I have a little sister that is 7. She is so obnoxious and hyper all the time.
Whenever she makes a mistake I always yell at her and make her feel bad.
One day I caught her crying in the corner and at that moment my heart sunk.
I am so sorry please forgive me.
I love you so much.
I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being the girl that everyone secretly hates but pretends to be friends with.
I’m tired of feeling alone and unloved.
I just want someone to notice me and talk to me.
I hate being ignored.
And it’ll be heartbreaking if this doesnt get posted thats how bad it is.
My boyfriend hates his life. He texts me every day.
He tells me his family doesn’t care about him.
He’s had a bad day so far.
He hasn’t texted me since 11:00 AM.
It’s 3:00 PM now.
I’m scared he went too far this time.
Kyle, I love you, don’t leave me here.
…
